is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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