i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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