I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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