It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
