remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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