you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
