Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
