i don't plan on having that self control this summer
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
