Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
