You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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