She's JV to your varsity
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
