He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My feet surprised me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
