Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
