I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she was so not down for the gang bang
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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