this boner is exhausting
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
