I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
