Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i need some magic done to my vagina
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
