No stitches, just platelets and will power
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
