discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
