I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
