my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
