i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
