GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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