we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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