This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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