And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
