its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I believe in your delicious
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
