Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
