it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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