the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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