Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
