before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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