you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
