just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
