ya dads aren't the best wingmen
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
