Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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