I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm sobbing to NWA
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
