I wish I only lived at night.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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