every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
