This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
