First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
