Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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