he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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