I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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