It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
