none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
