What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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