Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
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