Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
