You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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