i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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