theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
cat food counts as protein by the way
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
