i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
